World’s Worst Invention

Alfred Sloan was born in 1880. The short bio that I read says, “while other kids spent time playing outside, Sloan preferred staying indoors and preparing for school.” Not a good sign. Sloan is credited by many to be the inventor of the modern corporation. That’s right, it was an invention. Something that didn’t really exist before.

“Welcome to the corporation, Gina. We are going to make a ton of money off you in the next 10 years. We are going to dictate where you live, how many days you can be sick this year and give you virtually no control over your compensation. Oh, and you will pay the highest tax rate of anyone in the nation.”

I’m not even sure if it’s ethical for human beings to work that way. Did the industrial revolution ruin it for almost everyone? Are you too brainwashed and conditioned now? “Get back in line!” “You can’t go pee yet!” “We only wear denim on Friday!” “It’s probably safer to just not make eye contact with any woman here, what with sexual harassment and all. Just keep your head down and make your crude sex jokes with the other dudes.”

I know lots of people will ramble on about efficiencies and job creation and yada yada yada. I’m against it for the kind of thinking that it breeds. Institutionalism. This kind of thinking creates weird things. People start using phrases like, “you will have to talk to corporate about that” and “that’s above my pay grade”. They start expecting 6 cheeseburgers and fries to be handed to them thru the drive up window in 2 minutes. Or how about this- they spill hot coffee on their crotch and can actually get paid money from the corporation.

People say, “I hate Home Depot.”  ”Wal-Mart is disgusting.”  ”Screw Best Buy.”

But Home Depot did not cut you off on the freeway. You have to remember that those organizations are not people themselves. But they are made of lots and lots and lots of PEOPLE. What you are actually saying is that you hate the system that was created and the way it treats you. Or at the very least you hate the zombie faced teenager at the checkout register who wouldn’t even make eye contact with you because she hates her job and now her life and she pays too much in taxes and she had to pee 15 minutes ago.

Article by Matty McLain

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